Where's Entirely Emily been?

Hey y'all!  It's been a long while. For some reason or another I lost the urge to blog three times a week and then it was hard to do 2 times and then  even one time was just too much.I flat out just didn't' feel like it. My kids seemed to need me more and when I heard the little voice in my head saying " You HAVE to go blog about something."  I told it to shut the hell up and go away.

I love blogging but something had to give and it was the one thing I didn't HAVE to do.  I just don;t know what changed and why I didn't feel the urge as much but it was good to get away for while but....

I really started to miss you guys.  I miss my blog friends and  the conversations we would have. I feel like I don't even know what's going on in the blog-o-sphere anymore.

I have been busy getting out there and taking photos for friends and family to start a photo business. But again,  kids come first and I can't even get as into that as I would like. I see some of you doing it all and I wonder why I can't?   Maybe I'm not built that way. I want to be but maybe I just can't handle it.

I have so many ideas and things I want to blog  about  and SO not enough time in which to do it. This isn't something I should get stressed about but I was.  I want to be at the same level as some of you but have come to realize that I can't...just not right now.  When my kids are in school more often, I feel like then I will rock this shiz-nit! But for now, I will  blog and then I will break  and then I will blog and find a good place for me to be.

I have lost some of my followers but I hope there are some of you out there that will stick with me.  I always appreciate your comments and your friendship even if I go missing for a few days/weeks from my blog.

I know you understand and I hope you're still there  listening to my ramblings.


Monday
What is the Gunny Sack -Making the world Cuter -Debbie Doo -DIY Show Off
-I should be mopping the Floor


Tuesday
 Tip Junkie - My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia -The Kurtz Corner
Sugar Bee - Romance On A Dime -The Winthrop Chronicles

Wednesday
 Someday Crafts - Sew Much Ado
 -SNAP

Thursday
Beyond the Picket Fence - Somewhat Simple - Live Laugh Rowe
- The Shabby Cottage The Taylor House- House of Hepworths 
Two In Diapers-Mommy Brain Mixer


Friday
Naptime Crafters - Stay At Home Nation
Young and Crafty -  My Turn(ForUs)
Delicate Construction
Serenity Now


Saturday

Six Sister's Stuff
Cheerios and Lattes

Mommies get sad too

I've been having one of those days...weeks....past few years.  You know....when you don't feel anything's quite right but you can't put your finger on it.

When all you can see is the dark and not the light. Even though you see glimpses of it....it never quite stays long enough. I have no real, huge, life changing reason to feel this way. Just a bunch of little things that over time add up to be very heavy to hold.

You start questioning everything..your self, your faith...your life. Why are you here? What is your purpose?

I have these two beautiful girls and I don't know.....

.... how to tell them that life is good and full of happiness when I don't see it myself.
.....how to tell them what do to do if they feel left out included or lonely becuase I still don't
.....how to tell them what to do when they feel less than
.....how to tell them what to do when people say they are your friends but then don't call, email, Facebook, talk to you in person, etc.

I'm struggling right now. I don't want it to impact them. I want them to be innocent and happy.   I'm not trying to be prefect and happy all the time  but I want to help them navigate life and how can I do that when I can't see through the clouds enough to see the path ahead?

God give me strength.

What I probably won't do now that I'm a mom

I was at my book club a while back , talking with another mom. One who has kids much older than mine ( college age, high school and elementary). On a side note...this woman doesn't look a day over 35.  I can't hate her though because she's so nice, funny and likable. Sigh..

Any who.... we were talking about how when you are younger  ( teens, twenties, pre-kids) you are so much more adventurous and want to do all of these crazy things.  You really don't think a thing of it....until... you have kids.  You don't mind risking your own life but then you think , I want to see my kids  go to school, graduate, get married, have kids, etc. The list can go on and on.  She said her thing was skydiving.  Another woman in the group ( her mom )  said that she learned to fly a plane ONLY when all of kids were grown and out of the house.

So I started thinking... what did I think was no big deal or that I wanted to do that I won't probably ever do now  or until I'm much older.

Here's my list of things I may never do again or when my kids are much older:

• Skydiving
   Don't want to go splat
• Getting really really really drunk
   I want to be aware if my kids need me and don't want to do anything we all would regret some day.
• Leaving the country without them
  This I may do later when they are older
• Shooting guns
   So much can go wrong there
• Riding or Driving in a fast car/boat/ small plane/ATV
   Really do I need to explain that one?
•  Jumping Horses
   I used to jump but I fell off/been thrown off numerous times.  I don't know if I want to take that chance. But I may change my mind when they get older.
•  Going to bars late at night in really bad parts of town
   Why did I ever do that in the first place?
• Eating exotic foods that are alive
   eewwww and gross and food-poision-y

I'm sure there are more I could think of and will. If I do , I'll add them in later. Remember these are just my issues. I'm sure there is at least one thing you won't do now that you are a mom... what is it?

Self Portrait Assignment (or learning to love your tripod)

I have been following Kelly  over at Live Laugh Rowe  and her super talented sister,  Kristine at  Kristine Lynn Photography  over the last couple of week s for a  Self Portrait Challenge.  Kristine  gave us a whole bunch of tips on how to take better self portraits of ourselves.

I find it is never easy to look at pictures of myself because most of the pictures I've done my own makeup and hair.  And the lighting is never good . And I'm making some kind of goofy face. blah blah blah. I think the only day so far in my life where I have liked every picture is my wedding day.  Because.....somebody else did my hair, makeup, and was there to tell me if I was making a dumb face.

I've been watching my friend, Michelle over at Callia's Corner the past few weeks being all diligent and taking all kinds of great self  portraits of herself.  And I was all like, " Yeah, I'll do that today." She made it look too easy. I had all intentions of trying to do this multiple times to practice but life and kids intervened  and I got to it once, in 100+ degree heat. Yeah, me!

So it shows up  when I publish this post.... I think this is my favorite one...

Manual ISO 400, 1/100, f 6.3

Or do you like the Black and white version?

But this one was good too....

 Or this one...

My house has exactly three places where any lights hit all day ( note to self: next house...more windows). And yesterday happened to be all overcast and cloudy so none of that light was coming in. So I headed out in the heat by my fence. I set up the tripod and a piece of tape  on the fence for focusing.

 Here is one of my blurry shots. The fence is in way more focus than I am.

Then  K wouldn't take a nap so then she was outside with me. I mean, look at that sweat on the sides of her nose. Yep, sweaty.

Her job was to make me laugh and keep the dog out of the way. See how much that worked...

He photo bombed me !!

I just wanted you all to see that  when i get a blog award I'm all like ahhhh...

 Then I'm all eeeeee....

I course I couldn't not have her jump in one time.

Thanks for all the tips , Kelly and Kristine! I might actually use one of these for my  front page photo and about page.


Monday
What is the Gunny Sack -Making the world Cuter -Debbie Doo -DIY How Off
DIY Shop - Lines Across My Face -I should be mopping the Floor
Great Fun 4 Kids

Tuesday
How to Nest For Less - Tip Junkie - My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia -The Kurtz Corner
Sugar Bee - Romance On A Dime - Debbie Does Creations - Funky Polka Dot Giraffe
The Winthrop Chronicles


Wednesday
 Thrifty Home - Someday Crafts - Sew Much Ado
- Junk in Their Trunk  - Southern Lovely


Thursday
My rePurposed Life - Beyond the Picket Fence - Somewhat Simple - Live Laugh Rowe
Loving this Crazy Life - Fireflies and Jellybeans - The Shabby Cottage
The Taylor House- House of Hepworths-SNAP
Friday
Naptime Crafters - Stay At Home Nation
Young and Crafty -  My Turn(ForUs)
Delicate Construction
Serenity Now
Here Comes the Sun

Saturday
Six Sister's Stuff
Be Different Act Normal
Cheerios and Lattes
Natasha in Oz -Say G'Day

Please...talk to a quiet person today

I'd be the one on the left.........hello?..over here..

Introverts Unite!  I would start a support group but that would involve getting together and  talking... and that would be one quiet meeting. {giggle}

I've always been the quiet one. The only that would sit on the edge of any gathering and just listen. But really I wanted  to talk, wanted to be part of the conversation. I still do. I do have alot to say (durr...I blog now). I know a lot of stuff.   I've tried to make myself more outgoing as I've gotten older....watching other people and trying to be like them. Having kids pretty much forces you to be more outgoing because you have to talk to other mommies to set up play dates and things for the kids to do.  It's still a work in progress for me.

Yes, my idea of a good time is:
- to sit at home and blog
- read
-go for a walk
-organize something
-go have a cup of coffee
- just come to your house, talk  and have a drink.
- crafting something
-hanging out with a small group of people (4-10) at some one's house

I went out a lot in my 20s, again, pushing my introvert envelope but having kids and being a SAHM has put me comfortably where I belong.  I'm probably not going to go back to my drinking/going out every Friday night/hungover story kinda life. 

It's funny how as a quiet introverted  person I always feel  this pressure of  having to be more extroverted as if being who I am  isn't a good thing or not looked at in a good way.  I don't think there's anything wrong with  YOU  if  YOU want to go out every week and have tons of events and tons of friends.  Go. Have a ball , just don't judge me for not wanting to do the same.

There are a lot of times that I don't want to go to certain events or with certain people because  I don't like how I feel  there.  There is always the loud, outgoing person who talks the WHOLE time usually about themselves or  to the one person they're trying to suck up to. The only thing I ever get asked is " How are the girls doing?" Really,  that's all you think I have to talk about?  I try and make conversation with the outgoing ones and it ends up being all about them.  And that's not much fun for me.  Why would it be?

Others have told me, oh just jump in, you have to interrupt us. I don't feel comfortable butting into the conversion (sorry..that's just not me). When I do try that , I feel like everyone is looking at me with the"who does she think she is?" look.  Again, trying to make me like you isn't going to work.

I wonder what my two girls are going to be like:  me or more outgoing.  I feel like K is the awesome outgoing one now and S is the quiet one with the awesome personality that no one gets to see.  No matter who they turn out to be, I want them to be happy like all moms do. I want people to like them for who they are not who they " could " be.


I just want the loud, talkative people of the world to look around sometimes...see the quiet people standing around..come up and talk to us.  You won't believe what we have to say. You might meet someone really cool , learn something really cool or make a really great friend.

Monday
What is the Gunny Sack -Making the world Cuter -Debbie Doo -DIY How Off
DIY Shop - Lines Across My Face -I should be mopping the Floor
Great Fun 4 Kids

Tuesday
How to Nest For Less - Tip Junkie - My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia -The Kurtz Corner
Sugar Bee - Romance On A Dime - Debbie Does Creations - Funky Polka Dot Giraffe
The Winthrop Chronicles


Wednesday
Oopsey Daisy - Thrifty Home - Someday Crafts - Sew Much Ado
- Junk in Their Trunk  - Southern Lovely


Thursday
My rePurposed Life - Beyond the Picket Fence - Somewhat Simple - Live Laugh Rowe
Loving this Crazy Life - Fireflies and Jellybeans - The Shabby Cottage
 The Taylor House
House of Hepworths

Friday
Naptime Crafters - Stay At Home Nation
Young and Crafty -  My Turn(ForUs)
Delicate Construction
Serenity Now
Here Comes the Sun

Saturday
Six Sister's Stuff
Be Different Act Normal
Cheerios and Lattes
Natasha in Oz -Say G'Day

Sunday
Nifty Thrifty Things

My Stop-Spending- Stupid- Money Plan ( or 10 things that can save you money if you stop doing them)

Stupid Money (n): The money that you should have been able to save or never spent in the first place but you were lazy, just plain forgot or made a bad choice.

It's the middle of the year and I am tired of spending stupid money on things I shouldn't.  Are you still confused on the concept of " stupid" money? Here  are some examples of "stupid" money  issues:

-Library book fines

I don't want to even know how much I have paid the library this year. Based in how much we love the library, it was a bunch.  It should be a free resource but when you forget to turn in 8 kids DVDs for a week. Ka-ching!

-NOT returning stuff
You look at the receipt and say, oh  I've got a month to return that or 60 days or even 90. And then you look at the recipe again and missed your chance. There's $60 of stuff you can't use sitting in your room


-Not sending in rebates
 Seriously so annoying.  You buy something and it comes with an awesome rebate. You have every intention of sending it in and then before you know it, it's passed and you didn't save the $5- $20 bucks. dang it.

-Forgetting coupons

 I'm not the best coupon user and I buy lots of things that never or hardly have coupons. So when i do see a coupon  for something I actually use, I get all excited , cut it out, put it in the organizer and then forget the organizer whenever I go to the store. And as I'm checking out I remember that I had a coupon for that. grrrr..

-Forgetting Gift cards/Groupons

 You get a gift card for a birthday or Christmas or baby shower or wedding shower... you think you are going to wait and use it on something good or wait until you have coupon to use with the girt card.  And a year or so goes by and it starts losing value or it's been swimming around your purse so long that you just lose it. There goes  $20-$100 . bye bye.

-Mystery Charges on bills you don't check
I'm not the best at reviewing my monthly bills or bank statements on time. I have caught, too late, some mystery charges or late fees or over drafts  that had I caught sooner. I could have gotten removed or reduced  but I didn't so they got me   $5-$40 at a time.

- Traffic Tickets
In the past few years, the red light cameras have gotten us ( whatever) and J got a speeding ticket going from building to building at work. There was $200 a pop right there to get them fixed. Just think what we could have done with that money.

-Throwing away food
we don't do this alot but  there are some times that because we by alot of  food at a big box store ( i know, not the best)  that we throw away a bunch of apples or a half a bag of lettuce or some other kind of food that went bad before we could eat it. Even though we saved money buying the food there,  we are throwing money away by not eating it/

- Reoccurring monthly charges
I'm talking about stuff like Blockbuster online (we didn't use for 4 months because we were too busy), Netflix( always forget to use ), consumer reports...stuff like that.  Apparently, we had been paying $20 a year for Consumer reports for 7 years. So it's not a ton of money, but we weren't even using it and had completely forgotten that we were paying for it.

And my all time DUH stupid money spender....

- Not bringing your lunch to work or out somewhere you could like an outdoor concert or touristy place ( like the Zoo)

 J leaves in such a hurry in the morning that he usually doesn't have time to make his lunch. If he did it would be a  deli sandwich with some yogurt and fruit maybe. Healthy , right? But when he forgets  what does he buy at work? A deli sandwich , chips, and some fruit.  Ahhhh.. So that's $8 bucks a pop almost five days a week on top of what we spend on groceries.

If we can cut back on this kind of stuff maybe we can afford that trip to Disney World next year. Yipee!

Monday
What is the Gunny Sack -Making the world Cuter -Debbie Doo -DIY How Off
DIY Shop - Lines Across My Face -I should be mopping the Floor
Great Fun 4 Kids

Tuesday
How to Nest For Less - Tip Junkie - My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia -The Kurtz Corner
Sugar Bee - Romance On A Dime - Chronic Christian Crafter - Funky Polka Dot Giraffe
The Winthrop Chronicles


Wednesday
Oopsey Daisy - Thrifty Home - Someday Crafts - Sew Much Ado
- Junk in Their Trunk  - Southern Lovely


Thursday
My rePurposed Life - Beyond the Picket Fence - Somewhat Simple - Live Laugh Rowe
Loving this Crazy Life -Scrappy Crafty Happy - Fireflies and Jellybeans - The Shabby Cottage
Quality Cheap Home  - The Taylor House
House of Hepworths

Friday
Naptime Crafters - Stay At Home Nation
Young and Crafty -  My Turn(ForUs)
Delicate Construction
Serenity Now
Family Ever After 
Here Comes the Sun

Saturday


Six Sister's Stuff
Be Different Act Normal


Sunday
Nifty Thrifty Things

Me + Vacation = Pneumonia

Hello all my bloggy friends. Man, I missed you guys.

Like the title....nice huh?  Yep....that's how I roll unfortunately. I went on my much anticipated vacation last week and wound up sick the whole time. I didn't find out until an ER trip on Thursday that I had  Pneumonia.  I used all of my energy every day to play with my girls on the beach or the pool. Then I went back to the condo every afternoon/evening and just crashed.

I didn't even look at a computer.

I didn't even send out my almost done posts  I had all done up the week before.

I feel so out of the loop.

I'm still not totally well even with the antibiotics (Can you say crazy side effects? Yikes!)

I'm slowly going to join the bloggy world again.  Let me know what I missed ...ok?

Becoming Stronger

Yep...that's my Rosie the riveter.  That's my ticket to the gun show right there.

I feel a shift happening in my life.

I was raised to be a good, kind, polite, whatever-you -want  kind of person. And for the most part those are all good things. Until you lose yourself somewhere in between.

I have always wanted people to say " Oh that Emily. She is such a nice person." So I did everything I could  so that no one could ever come back and say anything otherwise.

But I have noticed as  I get older and especially since I had kids.......... I'm tired of it. I'm tired of always not saying something or doing something  solely for the benefit of someone else.  I kinda feel like I've been censoring myself my whole life.

I'm not going to go all out and take the filter completely off ( because I know some of those people  and I don't like them either). But  I've been finding out that  I need to stand up for myself and especially my kids.

There are a few people in our lives that think they can do whatever they want, say whatever they want to me or my family. And normally, I would be very uncomfortable with it but just stand there and smile because I didn't want to be a B. And my hubby hates, with a capital H, confrontation so he will never say anything to anyone to avoid a fight.  So I feel like now, it's up to me. I'm not a doormat anymore and that, my friends, is going to ruffle a lot of feathers.

You know what?  .... Dang it.... I'm stronger than this. This is my life and my family. And to  H with anyone who's in my way now!


( Kelly Clarkson's " Stronger" is now my new official internal theme song..BTW)

What I Wore Wednesday: Wedding Edition

In my blog travels yesterday,  I found this great site, Absolute Mommy ,and she had a  link up called WIW: Wedding.

In blogging,What I Wore is a cool blog post that just shows off what you were wearing on any particular day.  Normally for me...it's not that exciting or at all stylish....jeans,short sleeve shirt of some kind, and flip flops.   Megan, because it was her anniversary, decided to do her wedding day and invited any and all  to do the same.

I can't remember the name of the maker of my dress only that I finally found it after looking at  6 different dress shops. I drove my family and friends crazy with all of the looking. It was around $800. I had to have lace and I wanted something flow-ey but classic and  I had to have a train.

I had to have my pictures taken with my Charlie before the ceremony. And not be left out, Louie was there too.

Isn't he cute too?

There we are... all married and stuff. Will you look at all of the cameras to the left? Craziness. We were married at the Missouri Botanical Gardens in the Japanese Garden. Very Pretty and someplace we can visit anytime we want. Bonus.

You can see the lace better on this shot. There were also tiny beads for a hint of sparkle. I loved these flowers. So awesome.

The veil was made by my mom. It was full length and awesome-ly simple,attached by just a simple clip.

I wish I still looked this good everyday after taking care of two kids.

A co-worker of mine at the time, Bridget, made the jewelry for me from Swarovski crystals and pearls. She had gotten married a few months before me and I loved what she was wearing. I just wanted something simple but sparkly.( do you see a theme here?)

I even dressed up the clay people that I made for the top of the cake.

Writing this post really makes me want to get my dress out and wear it around the house. I've never felt more pretty than I did that day. It is a shame that we don't get to wear it again. And I still really like my dress. I don't think it looks dated ....yet and maybe I never will. Maybe one of my girls will want to wear it or tweak it a little and then wear it. Even if they don't.... it will always be special to me.

365 Days of Missing Charlie

( If you don't think of animals as part of your family, this post might not be for you.)

If I was on the floor, so was he.

I can't believe he's only been gone that long. It feels like a million years but it also feels like yesterday. I lost my Charlie.

If I was on the couch, so was he.

God, I miss him. I still cry. Usually when I'm falling asleep in bed. It was our place.  Before I met J and before we were married for 5 years, it was just Charlie and I. At night  when I was getting ready for bed, I would tell him " Come on buddy. Let's go to bed" And he would go in and lay down in the same place every night.

He loved to smell the air.

I miss him sleeping in the bed next to me, pushing me off the bed or into J.
I miss him taking up the whole bed.
I miss having to step over him when I got out of bed.

He put up with me, weirdness and all.

After I stood up, I would say his name and watch his tail go " thump thump thump" on the bed. I miss him following me into the bathroom and making me scratch him on the neck while I was sitting. I can still remember how it felt to pet him on the head and the sound of him snoring next to me.

Look at that face.

I miss the feel of his fur between my fingers.

He was my best friend. No offense to all my human friends but he was. I've felt lost without him. Life isn't the same. No matter what I was going through he was always there with me. Even when i got busier over the past four years, he was always  there sitting by me in whatever room I had to be in.

He braved THAT for me

He thought I was awesome. He looked at me like I was his world. He was my biggest fan. I could do no wrong with him.I know he called me mom in his dog way. How could you not fall in love with that?


He would lay behind me when I cooked. He would lay under the computer desk while I designed, surfed the web, or just looked at pictures. He would sleep in K's closet while I read her stories and sang lullabies.  When I sat on the couch and watched movies or TV, He would lay right under me and even get to sit next to me on the couch when J wasn't there. If I sat on the floor, he would come up to the front of me, sit down, I would hug him and his head would rest on my shoulder. Like he was really hugging me. When I cried,  I could hold him and  I would feel better. Even my two girls can't fill the space in my heart he left. They keep that space busy but not filled.

K loved her Charlie

K  said in the car the other day....

K: Mom?
Me:Yes
K: I miss Charlie. He's up in heaven. I want him to come down here.
Me: I miss him too, honey, everyday.  But he's happy and feels better up in heaven.(tears welling  in my eyes)
K: I want him to be here with me.
Me: Me too honey. Me too. ( sniff)

K and Charlie 2009

God, It breaks my heart every time she says that which seems to have just happened randomly throughout the year.

See..he had to be next to me even unwrapping K's birthday gifts.

Have you ever  read or heard the quote from Winnie the Pooh:

"If  you lived to be 100 years old . I want to  live to 100 minus one day so I wouldn't  have to live a day without you."

My buddy

That's exactly what I thought the day he left my side.That was the hardest day of my life so far. I won't forget a minute of that day maybe for the rest of my life. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

I've never wailed before. I've never collapsed before. But I did that day.  The feeling when your body literally can't hold you up because you are crying so hard. He was my first baby.Why did he have to leave me so soon?

I cried myself to sleep for a week.  It's the only way I could fall asleep.  He should still be here. 10 years isn't long enough.  I love and you and miss you buddy.

Mean Girls...then and now

Have you all seen the movie " Mean Girls" with Lindsay Lohan?  I hate to say but I love it. And  I do because it is a comedy, Tina fey is in it, and  it's the kinda conclusion you wish scenarios like this would have. The mean girls figure out that it's wrong and learn their lessons. We all know that doesn't happen.

I have had my share of time with "mean girls" in my life. I would have to say grade school was the worst for me. They were down right cruel.  My hair, my clothes,  my glasses, what I watched, what I read, what I drew......everything was fair game.

There was one in 6th grade, I think, and we were having a battle of the two 6 grade classrooms. We had to decorate our door with some kind of  design and it was a top secret. So I go into the bathroom one day and  R is there. She is a girl I that I have known since I was little. We played together since we could walk.  She comes up to me backs me up into stall door and says " What are you guys doing to your door? " " I'm can't tell you." " If you don't , I'll tell everyone we played my little ponies last year." I couldn't remember if that was true or not  but I was mortified because people already made fun of me as it was. So I spilled the beans and prayed no one would find out it was me and hate me anyway. She didn't have to do that.  She used what I thought was our joint past/friendship against me to shame me into something. I never really trusted or talked to her again.

And then there was K. She made it her personal goal in life to laugh/point fingers at me whenever she could. She pants-ed me twice in gym class. I finally learned to really knot my shorts after the first time.( And not to buy flowered underwear :) )The thing is I never did anything to her.  Why did I deserve that? I'm sure if I asked her why or if she knew she really tortured me, she would have no idea. And probably say she never did those things. That 's just as sad.

The high school mean girls were just too busy with the boys /hair/clothes/social lives to bother me too much. They just used me for pens, loose leaf paper, and tried to get answers from me.

Now in my thirties...the mean girls are older,wiser, and better able to cloak their meanness in false flattery and just plain old stabbin' you in the back when you aren't around. Didn't their mommas love them enough? Don't they have anything better to do like...I don't know...raise their kids?

I look at my daughters and wish I could spare them this kind of pain. I know they are going to have mean girls in their lives. I hope they can deal with better than I did. I don't know how to tell them to deal with it because I STILL don't know how to deal with it.  I already see myself in K. She's so trusting and thinks everyone likes her even when the other kids decide to play keep away from K without telling her. She's so blissfully ignorant. I hope she keeps that just enough to not let things like that bother her. I want to tell them to not let it bother them because they won't have to deal with them forever but that's not true. And going to public school , there's the chance that they may have to deal with them for 14 years..YIKES.  I always think I  should tell them to tell themselves....(see below)

What Would You Grab in a Fire?

I'm sure you've seen this somewhere before but if there was a fire/tornado/flood/ huge natural disaster what 5 things would you grab? And say you had 10-30 minutes. I hope none of us ever have to think of this but  I found this website : http://theburninghouse.com/ . And it made me think.

We would all say family, so should I even count that?  I'll count them all as one thing. That's including the dog.

So the other four things....

-Hard drive with every photo/video in our family history
-2 photo albums that aren't digital ( count as 1)
-All of our baby books ( all the same thing. count as 1)
-Important document Ziploc..yes I said Ziploc

( do you like how I justify all my multiples?)

All of them except the bag are in the same room, so it would make that grabbing fast and easy.


 And if timed allowed this is everything in the house I would want:

-K's stuffed Mickey mouse ( her favorite in these shirt four years)
-S's stuffed puppy ( her favorite in these short two years)
-Charlie's stuff ( old toys,dog tags, paw print)
-Camera Bag
-Wedding Dress
-Christening gowns
-jewelry (good stuff from parents and grandparents)
-Christmas ornaments( yes...I love them)
-K's Baby Box
-S's Baby Box

Everything else is the house is just stuff.  It really is just...... stuff. It really makes you think about all  of it and why we buy so much. And how we don't need it.

My giant pile of neverending stuff

Everyone has it. That oooonnnnneeeee spot in your house that you dump your stuff at when you get home. And no matter how much you try to keep it clean  it only lasts a day or two at the most. Why is that? Why can't we keep it clean?


Our spot is our dining room table.  It just collects everything. The mail gets put there, any bags of stuff we buy gets put there, Library books go there, stuff that needs attention (ironically) goes there, stuff K doesn't want S to get  goes there, my camera stays there, stuff that doesn't necessarily have a home goes there until we figure out where it goes or we can't see the top of the table at all.

I consider myself to be very organized. The rest of my house always is but that one.....stubborn....place.

ARGGHH!!(channeling Charlie Brown there)

It's just so annoying. It sits there mocking me as I pass by....." You're never going to get rid of me. Stop trying . I'm just going to keep growing and growing until I fall off the table!"

Sometimes if people are coming over and I need to clean ASAP, the stuff goes into bags and shoved somewhere until they leave.


But life just happens and I can't keep up with it. I just don't think you can get by without some spot in your house where you can dump stuff.  I know some people have a bin or a basket or a box but that's still a dumping spot. If any of you can do it... please.... tell me how to make it stop.

The Girl Scout Patches of Life

I think that everyone earns patches everyday.   You know, like girl scout patches. You just don't see them and don't get to sew them onto a sash or a vest.  When  I think of all of the patches that I would have earned , the list is endless:

In my twenties:
- The surviving a hangover every weekend for month straight patch.
- The not sleeping with someone you won't remember  the next day patch
- The crappy Boss patch ( 10x over)
- The overtime patch
- The stupid ex-boyfriend patch..followed by....
- The so glad I didn't marry THAT guy patch

Then in my thirties:


- The only getting two hours of sleep and still being a human being patch
- The finally took a shower in a couple days patch
- The cleaning up barf  patch
- The taking care of a whole sick family patch
- The crazy relatives patch
- The biting my tongue around stupid people patch
- The cooking while kids hang on your leg patch
- The not running away from home when you kids are screaming patch

I was a Girl Scout in one way or another for almost 9 years. I really liked it.  The crafts..the singing... the camping.. the learning and for a while, the friendships. I was a brownie, a junior, a senior and then a part of a mounted horse riding troop. Yes, they have those.

Mrs. Laurie Casey was my girl scout leader for 7 years.  When I was younger I thought she was loud, boisterous, and way to outgoing for me. She was always pushing us and making us do things that at the time were"stupid" and "dorky". We were the troop that sang everywhere. In fact we were invited to sing different places. I think everyone here in Saint Louis knew about Laurie's girls.

It wasn't until I was getting married and she was battling cancer that I realized how much of an impact she had on my life. I sing the songs she taught us all the time. One will randomly jump into my head and then I sing them to my girls. I really wish she was still here to meet my girls and sing the songs with them. They would have loved that.  And every time I start a new craft , I think of all of the crafts we did with her.

 It's weird to me that I find myself  thinking about her more now than I seemed to before. Wanting to show her things and  talk to her about things.  As much as I didn't realize it, she was a big cheerleader of mine and  I will be forever grateful  for that.