Mommies get sad too

I've been having one of those days...weeks....past few years.  You know....when you don't feel anything's quite right but you can't put your finger on it.

When all you can see is the dark and not the light. Even though you see glimpses of it....it never quite stays long enough. I have no real, huge, life changing reason to feel this way. Just a bunch of little things that over time add up to be very heavy to hold.

You start questioning everything..your self, your faith...your life. Why are you here? What is your purpose?

I have these two beautiful girls and I don't know.....

.... how to tell them that life is good and full of happiness when I don't see it myself.
.....how to tell them what do to do if they feel left out included or lonely becuase I still don't
.....how to tell them what to do when they feel less than
.....how to tell them what to do when people say they are your friends but then don't call, email, Facebook, talk to you in person, etc.

I'm struggling right now. I don't want it to impact them. I want them to be innocent and happy.   I'm not trying to be prefect and happy all the time  but I want to help them navigate life and how can I do that when I can't see through the clouds enough to see the path ahead?

God give me strength.

What parts of me will they get?

My cute little monsters

When you are pregnant with your children, you kinda wonder what they will look like and kinda wonder what they will act like. Will they laugh at fart jokes? Cry when you yell too loud? Then you start watching your tiny  babies grow and change and become their own tiny little person with their own tiny little personality. As they get older and older you start to see THEM. The person they are going to be. Sometimes you see yourself in them , sometimes you see your spouse. Sometimes you smile. Sometimes you cringe.

I started thinking what parts of me  I would want them to get and what parts of me  I  SO don't  want them to get....

What I hope they DO get


I hope they both love to read.


They both already seem to love books as much as do.  I hope in continues through their lives and  makes school that much more enjoyable to them.  I remember my sister and brother hating book reports and other school stuff  because they disliked reading.

I hope they both love animals to a fault.

I can't imagine my life without the amazing dogs that have been in it.  I love riding horses and  will pet  a cat whenever I have the chance.  I want them to always be kind to animals. They need our help as much as we need theirs. Maybe they'll even volunteer with them someday.

Charlie and K 2009

I hope they are artistic.

It's so much fun to create and even if they are not the next Picasso....i want them to feel comfortable with whatever they do. Just because it doesn't look like someone else's doesn't mean it is bad.

I hope they can just BE.

Sometimes it just feels good to be by yourself and do what you want to do.  That may be the introvert in me talking but you  need to learn to be and do things by yourself and be ok with that.

S collecting her "treasures".....seed pods from the trees

I hope they love to document their lives

Whether it is photo albums, video, journals, or  family tree stuff... I love to remember what I've done and how I felt about it. It's so comforting and grounding to me.  I love that my mom did it for us and now I'm doing it for them.  Maybe they'll do it for their kids too.

Hold still, S..... with K in 2011

I hope they'll be choosy about their friends

Friends are so important in our lives. It's been hard for me to accept that quality is better than quanity as I've gotten older. They don't have to settle when it comes to friends.

I hope they love to sing

Nothing makes me happier than singing in the car. Music just sends me to a better place. I hope they always love to sing and it beings them as much joy as it brings me.

What I hope they DON'T get


I hope they talk more than me

It's hard to make friends and feel like you fit in school if you're too shy or scared to talk. I want them to feel free to speak their minds ( as long as they have nice things to say)

I hope they have a thicker skin

I hate when people pick on me even if their joking. I never think it's funny and sometimes I wonder if life would be easier on me if I did.

I hope they can let some things go.

Sometimes I'm so hurt that i can't move past it and it has, I'm sure, put up walls in my life. I'm not saying they should let people walk all over or hurt them. I'm saying that once it is over, I hope they can either forgive and move on or just forget about the person all together.

I hope they like to play sports or at least like to watch them.

I was horrible at sports as a child and still am. Again, it made school miserable and made me feel left out.  If I had played or at least gone to games, maybe it would have helped. I kinda watch our home town teams now but  I'm no super fan.

I hope they don't get my crappy immune system.If someone sneezes in Ohio and there's a westerly wind, I'm sick the next day. Where as their dad never seems to get sick. But I will say that  I'll take a million small colds over a horrible, life threatening illness any day.

I hope they only see the good/ positive side of things (at least most of the time)

I feel like it's an inherited trait in my family. Sometimes I feel like I'll never be able to break the cycle of negativity and I sure as heck don't want them to be that way. Again, I want life to be easier for them than it was for me, emotionally.

I hope they are not so scared or so unsure that they don't follow their dreams

Everyone has dreams or things they think they might want to do or be. Just because someone else doesn't think it's a good idea,  doesn't mean they should do it.  They should do things for themselves. not for other people . Not even for me and their dad. It's their lives and their dreams. Please go live them.


What is your top thing you hope your kids get from you and the top thing you hope they NEVER get from you?

Monday
What is the Gunny Sack -Making the world Cuter -Debbie Doo -DIY Show Off
DIY Shop - Lines Across My Face -I should be mopping the Floor
Great Fun 4 Kids

Tuesday
How to Nest For Less - Tip Junkie - My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia -The Kurtz Corner
Sugar Bee - Romance On A Dime - Debbie Does Creations - Funky Polka Dot Giraffe
The Winthrop Chronicles

Wednesday
 Thrifty Home - Someday Crafts - Sew Much Ado
- Junk in Their Trunk  - Southern Lovely  -SNAP

Thursday
 Beyond the Picket Fence - Somewhat Simple - Live Laugh Rowe
Loving this Crazy Life - The Shabby Cottage
The Taylor House- House of Hepworths 
Two In Diapers-Mommy Brain Mixer


Friday
Naptime Crafters - Stay At Home Nation
Young and Crafty -  My Turn(ForUs)
Delicate Construction
Serenity Now
Here Comes the Sun

Saturday

Six Sister's Stuff
Polkadot Pretties
Cheerios and Lattes
Natasha in Oz -Say G'Day

Co-hosting the Mommy Brain Mixer

I was super excited when I found out I got to co-host the Mommy Brain Mixer with  Cassie over Two In Diapers. She is so sweet and her family is just adorable.  It is so much fun to meet other mommies and hear all the other crazy stories and know I'm not  alone in my craziness. Please join us and tell us your best/funniest/craziest/poop-filled stories!

Welcome to week 8 of the Mommy-Brain Mixer, ladies!

Last week we had a fabulous 112 link-ups! The Mixer is thriving!

If you haven't noticed, one of my favorite things to do here at Two In Diapers is to share stories about motherhood and my littles. One of my favorite things about sharing these stories is your comments with stories of your own children!

Welcome to...

At the Mommy-Brain Mixer, we will be linking up our writings about anything and everything motherhood!

We want to see funny posts, serious posts, sweet & sappy stories, mommy-brain episodes, memories from when your older children were younger, thoughts & lessons learned, and anything related to motherhood or little people. You know that post you wrote yesterday about your teething baby? Or that hilarious post you wrote about your 2nd grader's school play? Those are perfect, so link 'em up! 

The Mommy-Brain Mixer is the perfect place to find some great new blogs to follow, make some wonderful new blog friends, and enjoy some entertaining new reads!

To make things even more fun, my friend Mar, over at Raising Bean, is hosting a sister link-up for you to join, too!

Head on over there after your finished here and link up your recipes, DIY, arts & crafts, and sensory activities!  

Let's get to it, friends!

 

RULES:

1.Follow Two In Diapers

{the first link below}

If you are new to the Mixer, please leave me a comment so I know to follow you back! I try to get around to all the posts but, as the Mixer is growing, there are some weeks that I'm not able!

2. Follow your co-hosts

This week's lovely co-hosts {the first 3 on the linky} are:

Emily from Entirely Emily

Eva from The Evas of Bellabini

Lena from Mom2MemphisAndRuby

3. Link up your mommy post!

4. Make sure to visit some of the blogs in the link-up and maybe even follow them!

{and comments are always loved} 

5. Tweet about the Mommy-Brain Mixer to help spread the word! 

Tweet  

6. Grab this adorable button and place it somewhere on your blog!

<a href="http://www.two-in-diapers.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="Photobucket" src="http://i523.photobucket.com/albums/w351/laurenjh04/Gracie%20Marie/mommybrain-mixer200.png" /></a><br/>

7. Don't forget to check back throughout the week, as we gain many new links throughout the week!

If you are interested in co-hosting a Mommy-Brain Mixer, send Cassie an email at twoindiapers@gmail.com!

What we DO for our kids

There they are... those two annoying little kids. If I never watched them again, I'd be ok.

A few weeks ago I talked about what I won't do now that  I'm a mom. There were lots of things that may or may not have happened anyway. I got to thinking about how many things that I never thought I would have to do.

 Below are my list of things that :
1) I really had no idea  I'd have to do
2) I was really hoping that wouldn't  have to do
3) I knew was going to do but totally  in denial
4) Things I only do because I love them SO much

- Putting up with certain people in our lives, because I HAVE to

- Having to bite my tongue around those people...because I HAVE to

- Wiping the butts of my daughters' friends ( nobody told me about that one)

- Watching so much Dora and Diego that I want to blow my brains out.

- Going outside when it's WAAAAAYYY too hot or WAAAAAYYYY too cold and then 5 minutes later going back inside becuase they changed their minds

- Being a short order cook, waitress, and dish washer everyday

-Scheduling out play dates , trying to get other moms to come over or  go to their house and working around our naps and their naps and after school events

- And I'm not there yet  but having to spend countless weekends engrossed in  whatever sports they decide to go into  ( not looking forward to losing my weekends too... I'm not going to lie)

- Cleaning up the same room 3 times in one day

- Carrying around a mini Walmart in my purse of : snacks, drinks, books, tissues, band aids,  toys, crayons, notepads. I forgot what I used to have in my purse before kids.

- Answering the same question 20 times in one days without screaming

- Trying really hard not to run away at least once a week

-Being so tired at night that you forget  what you used to do with your own time

- Never getting another solid night of sleep ever again

- Lost my boobies breastfeeding ( wouldn't trade it for the world but sad that they got even smaller than they were before. I didn't think that was possible.)

What did you have no idea/ in denial/hoped wouldn't  happen when you had kids?

Monday
What is the Gunny Sack -Making the world Cuter -Debbie Doo -DIY Show Off
DIY Shop - Lines Across My Face -I should be mopping the Floor
Great Fun 4 Kids

Tuesday
How to Nest For Less - Tip Junkie - My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia -The Kurtz Corner
Sugar Bee - Romance On A Dime - Debbie Does Creations - Funky Polka Dot Giraffe
The Winthrop Chronicles

Wednesday
 Thrifty Home - Someday Crafts - Sew Much Ado
- Junk in Their Trunk  - Southern Lovely  -SNAP

Thursday
 Beyond the Picket Fence - Somewhat Simple - Live Laugh Rowe
Loving this Crazy Life - The Shabby Cottage
The Taylor House- House of Hepworths 
Two In Diapers-Mommy Brain Mixer


Friday
Naptime Crafters - Stay At Home Nation
Young and Crafty -  My Turn(ForUs)
Delicate Construction
Serenity Now
Here Comes the Sun

Saturday

Six Sister's Stuff

Cheerios and Lattes
Natasha in Oz -Say G'Day

15 things I hope my girls remember me saying

When I am talking to my girls, I often hope that I'm saying the right things. The things they will remember, the things that will make them stronger, the things that make them feel not alone...and if I say them enough be ingrained into their little brains for life.  Even if they don't realize it . There is still a bunch of things that I can hear my mom saying in my head all the time so I figure it must work :)

1.  You are the best you that ever was. God doesn't make mistakes.
2.  You can be anything you want. I mean it , anything. (OK maybe there are a few nos in there but that's another post)
3.  You can tell me anything. I won't judge you or yell at you. Just be honest with me.
4.  You can ask me anything. I'll tell you the truth ( to a point)
5.  Dress how you want, draw what you want, read what you want, be who you were meant to be.  Not somebody else. Don't change for anyone.
6. You is smart. You is good. You is important.( yes, I know...it's from " The Help"  but it's still good to tell them)
7. Wait to kiss the boys, it will be worth it. They don't kiss good for a long time.
8. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean you have to do anything you don't want to.
9.  I'm always on your side ( unless you are hurting yourself then I will stop you)
10. You will have a lot of friends in your life. Some will stay. Some will go. And some might even come   back. They all don't have to last forever but you hope they do.
11. Only be with a guy that loves you even when things aren't perfect because life never is.
12. Watch how anyone treats their pets, that's how they'll treat you.
13. You can be nice but don't let people take advantage of you. Stand up for yourself.
14. You two(k&s) should always look out for each other. She will be your best friend some day.
15. I'll always love you no matter what. Even if I'm mad at you, I still love you.And even if you are mad at me, I'll still love you.

What bits of wisdom are you trying to ingrain into your kids' heads?

Monday
What is the Gunny Sack -Making the world Cuter -Debbie Doo -DIY Show Off
DIY Shop - Lines Across My Face -I should be mopping the Floor
Great Fun 4 Kids

Tuesday
How to Nest For Less - Tip Junkie - My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia -The Kurtz Corner
Sugar Bee - Romance On A Dime - Debbie Does Creations - Funky Polka Dot Giraffe
The Winthrop Chronicles

Wednesday
 Thrifty Home - Someday Crafts - Sew Much Ado
- Junk in Their Trunk  - Southern Lovely  -SNAP

Thursday
 Beyond the Picket Fence - Somewhat Simple - Live Laugh Rowe
Loving this Crazy Life - The Shabby Cottage
The Taylor House- House of Hepworths 
Two In Diapers-Mommy Brain Mixer


Friday
Naptime Crafters - Stay At Home Nation
Young and Crafty -  My Turn(ForUs)
Delicate Construction
Serenity Now
Here Comes the Sun

Saturday

Six Sister's Stuff

Cheerios and Lattes
Natasha in Oz -Say G'Day

What I probably won't do now that I'm a mom

I was at my book club a while back , talking with another mom. One who has kids much older than mine ( college age, high school and elementary). On a side note...this woman doesn't look a day over 35.  I can't hate her though because she's so nice, funny and likable. Sigh..

Any who.... we were talking about how when you are younger  ( teens, twenties, pre-kids) you are so much more adventurous and want to do all of these crazy things.  You really don't think a thing of it....until... you have kids.  You don't mind risking your own life but then you think , I want to see my kids  go to school, graduate, get married, have kids, etc. The list can go on and on.  She said her thing was skydiving.  Another woman in the group ( her mom )  said that she learned to fly a plane ONLY when all of kids were grown and out of the house.

So I started thinking... what did I think was no big deal or that I wanted to do that I won't probably ever do now  or until I'm much older.

Here's my list of things I may never do again or when my kids are much older:

• Skydiving
   Don't want to go splat
• Getting really really really drunk
   I want to be aware if my kids need me and don't want to do anything we all would regret some day.
• Leaving the country without them
  This I may do later when they are older
• Shooting guns
   So much can go wrong there
• Riding or Driving in a fast car/boat/ small plane/ATV
   Really do I need to explain that one?
•  Jumping Horses
   I used to jump but I fell off/been thrown off numerous times.  I don't know if I want to take that chance. But I may change my mind when they get older.
•  Going to bars late at night in really bad parts of town
   Why did I ever do that in the first place?
• Eating exotic foods that are alive
   eewwww and gross and food-poision-y

I'm sure there are more I could think of and will. If I do , I'll add them in later. Remember these are just my issues. I'm sure there is at least one thing you won't do now that you are a mom... what is it?

10 things I learned on a car trip with two small kids

                This is what 15 hours looks like....goldfish crackers all over and feet in my face.

1. Dual DVD players are super NICE!
They weren't plugged in the whole time but when the wining and complaining go to be too much. It saved
me and J.

2.  Bring every pool/water  toy/floaty you can fit in the car. Even if you don't think you'll need it.
We had to buy many things that we didn't think we would need  and left at home but then we did need.


3. The kids liked the pool more than the ocean.
It was a little wavy to say the least so once we showed them the calm, warmer pool. K didn't want to go  back to the beach. We tried to explain to her that we have pools at home but not beaches. She didn't really care.

4.  Be prepared to be a bad recycler.
This was hard for me. I'm normally a great recycler. I recycle everything. But down in Pensacola Beach. I couldn't find any kind of community recycling place and the condo complex definitely didn't care one way or the other. I had to suck it up and say sorry environment for a whole week.

5.  Don't bring too much stuff for yourself ( the mommies and daddies) to do.
We brought all kinds of IPod, IPad, speakers, magazines, books.... you know...thinking we could do something besides watch our kids. Nope. We were busy we the kids whenever they were awake and when they were napping or asleep.... We were napping or asleep. Long gone are the days of reading a magazine on the beach..unless we go somewhere without kids. I know, we were a little delusional.

6. The kids may not sleep at all in the car.
Everyone was saying" Oh, they'll sleep for hours". You are all  F-O-S. They slept for 30 min each on the way there. Yes, you read that right....30minutes....for a 15 hour car drive..... That's nuts.  I know my kids are not normal but come on..... 30 min?! really?

7. Pack less toys and books for them.
I packed 6 books per kid and a small book bag of toys per kid. And they proceeded to read the same two books all week and play/fight over the same four small toys all week. Lesson learned.

8. Not even cute maps help after 15 hours in the car with a 30 minute nap.
 She was doing really well with the map until hour 13 and then it was every five minutes " Are we at the beach now?" But it did work until then.

9. Portable apple sauces, squeezy yogurt tubes and goldfish crackers are a god-send.
 Buy and pack as many as you can into a cooler. They helped avoid many meltdowns and supplemented alot of the meals we stopped to eat when they didn't like anything on the menus.

10. That it should only get easier or at least a different kind of hard.
 They were really great for the amount of time they were in the car.  I had to keep telling myself we were asking a 4 and 2 year old to sit for hours and hours and hours.