Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Mean Girls...then and now
Have you all seen the movie " Mean Girls" with Lindsay Lohan? I hate to say but I love it. And I do because it is a comedy, Tina fey is in it, and it's the kinda conclusion you wish scenarios like this would have. The mean girls figure out that it's wrong and learn their lessons. We all know that doesn't happen.
I have had my share of time with "mean girls" in my life. I would have to say grade school was the worst for me. They were down right cruel. My hair, my clothes, my glasses, what I watched, what I read, what I drew......everything was fair game.
There was one in 6th grade, I think, and we were having a battle of the two 6 grade classrooms. We had to decorate our door with some kind of design and it was a top secret. So I go into the bathroom one day and R is there. She is a girl I that I have known since I was little. We played together since we could walk. She comes up to me backs me up into stall door and says " What are you guys doing to your door? " " I'm can't tell you." " If you don't , I'll tell everyone we played my little ponies last year." I couldn't remember if that was true or not but I was mortified because people already made fun of me as it was. So I spilled the beans and prayed no one would find out it was me and hate me anyway. She didn't have to do that. She used what I thought was our joint past/friendship against me to shame me into something. I never really trusted or talked to her again.
And then there was K. She made it her personal goal in life to laugh/point fingers at me whenever she could. She pants-ed me twice in gym class. I finally learned to really knot my shorts after the first time.( And not to buy flowered underwear :) )The thing is I never did anything to her. Why did I deserve that? I'm sure if I asked her why or if she knew she really tortured me, she would have no idea. And probably say she never did those things. That 's just as sad.
The high school mean girls were just too busy with the boys /hair/clothes/social lives to bother me too much. They just used me for pens, loose leaf paper, and tried to get answers from me.
Now in my thirties...the mean girls are older,wiser, and better able to cloak their meanness in false flattery and just plain old stabbin' you in the back when you aren't around. Didn't their mommas love them enough? Don't they have anything better to do like...I don't know...raise their kids?
I look at my daughters and wish I could spare them this kind of pain. I know they are going to have mean girls in their lives. I hope they can deal with better than I did. I don't know how to tell them to deal with it because I STILL don't know how to deal with it. I already see myself in K. She's so trusting and thinks everyone likes her even when the other kids decide to play keep away from K without telling her. She's so blissfully ignorant. I hope she keeps that just enough to not let things like that bother her. I want to tell them to not let it bother them because they won't have to deal with them forever but that's not true. And going to public school , there's the chance that they may have to deal with them for 14 years..YIKES. I always think I should tell them to tell themselves....(see below)